If you’re spending hours dissecting a guy’s behavior, trying to figure out if he’s into you, it’s time to stop. It’s actually not that hard to figure it out. Here are some pretty clear signs that it’s time to move on.
- He doesn’t respond to texts. This, of course, is a huge tell. Conventional wisdom is that you should expect a text back in an hour at most—are you getting responses the next day? Or not at all. This is a sure sign of trouble.
- He doesn’t show interest in your friends. A guy who’s into you wants to know all about you, including your social circle. Is your guy curious about your friends? Is he making an effort to integrate into your world? He should be.
- He doesn’t want to do things out of the ordinary routine. This is what I call relationship inertia. You’ve settled into a routine of doing the same things and going to the same places. This doesn’t take a lot of effort. Is he being lazy? That can signify how much energy or interest he has in the relationship—and in you.
- He doesn’t ask how you are. This is a big one. Look, to be honest, guys are a little selfish at the best of times. When a guy is really into you, he’ll make a point of checking in with you because he genuinely cares about how you’re doing. A guy who doesn’t do this is checked out.
- You always seem to be the one initiating plans. Does it seem like you’re always the one asking to get together? Does it feel like pulling teeth to get him to meet with you after work for cocktails? Not a good sign.
- You’re always making the first move. Physical intimacy is a big aspect of a relationship for any guy. It’s not a good sign if you’re always initiating sex. His mind, among other things, is elsewhere.
- He doesn’t apologize. This is a bad sign—he’s not demonstrating that he cares about your feelings. Ergo, he’s not really that into you.
- He flakes a lot. This guy cancels on you more than Amtrak. This is a guy who doesn’t value you. Period.
- He’s sending late night drunken texts. This is so gross. This dude isn’t worth the time of day. Don’t spend a single second missing this tool. Let him be someone else’s problem. You can do better.
- You’re on an island with him. Where are his friends? Where is his family? His co-workers? Why aren’t you being invited to meet any of these people? This means he’s not investing his time in building you into his life and what matters to him. Tread carefully.
Kevan Huston – Kevan is an eater of sushi, a runner of many miles, and a listener of soul. If you want to connect with Kevan, you can find him on Blogspot, and Twitter.
