Has a girl from your Chem 101 class ever invited you over to her place to “study” and then ripped off your clothes, tied you up like a bad, bad b*tch, and then stuck a barbie head up your ass? You came over and over and over and you left wondering what the F*CK just happened and when it could happen again? She a freak, but hey — you are, too!
Sex isn’t always vanilla, missionary, lovemaking. No, sometimes sex rattles your inner core and makes you question everything. Like — who knew you had a geriatric kink? Apparently that time you boinked an 80 year old man should have tipped you off.
Crazy sexual encounters are what you’ll look back on when you’re sitting in your rocking chair, dozing in and out of naps, and dreaming about that time a girl named Becky shoved a jelly bean in the folds of your uncircumcised penis and then sucked it out. Aw — to be young again.
These 19 freaky freaks confess their craziest sexual encounters:
1.
c
2.
Spanish dark rooms. You show up, shower, and then walk into a completely pitch black room filled with people. Everything goes. Yeah.
3.
My girlfriend was giving me a blowjob and when I finished she sneezed or something. Came right back out of her nose. She said it smelled like sperm all day.
4.
My parents are extremist crazy fundamentalists (and I don’t use this term tritely). My girlfriend (now wife) and I weren’t allowed to sleep together much less have sex so we would sneak the sex whenever we had a few minutes alone. Well, one day she was on top, in a skirt, and it looked like we were just rough housing, which was tentatively allowed. My mother, brother and sister walk in and starting talking to us. We continued. Somehow managed to hide the orgasm as we “play fought with her pinning me down.”
5.
Lady wanted me to masturbate her with the head of a Barbie doll she brought. She opened a little carry drawer made for Barbies. She had about 6 of em in there. She picked one. She asked me to 69 with her while I masturbated her with the Barbie head.
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
