Posted on: Sep 14 2017

19 Sneaky Flasks To Help You Hide Your Booze In Plain Sight

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Imagine going to a place where there is no alcohol allowed *gasp*! Do places like that even exist? Unfortunately, they do. It’s a terrible problem that needs to be rectified. If I want to drink in a hospital, let me drink in that damn hospital! Isn’t America all about dat freedom? But I digress..

There are certain scenarios where alcohol is either prohibited or consumption is just generally frowned upon. You can’t BYOB to certain sporting events, concerts, or even on cruises (ugh). At those types of events, vendors and restaurants expect you do purchase their over priced sh*tty drinks.. NO THANKS.

And then there are occasions where it is just not acceptable to drink. School dances, funerals, churches, hospitals, even some family events. Whipping out a drink might make you look bad, or be hella illegal if you’re under 21. Like, sorry your event is lame and I need to liven it up.

So what do you do in those scenarios? You bring your own of course! But a normal flask just won’t do, because they’re hella obvious, especially if you’re getting your bag searched or pat down. So the only solution? Get a super sneaky incognito flask!

Sure, you can fill a shampoo bottle and hope for the best, but do you really want your hooch tasting like soap? OF COURSE YOU DON’T. So your only solution is to purchase one of the following 19 flasks. We’ve checked them all out and found that they are not only sneaky AF, but they work marvelously. So read on for our take on these dope flasks, and don’t be afraid to test one out at your next event.

Everyone needs these 19 super sneaky flasks:

1. Boozy Tampons

DUDE. This tampon flask might be one of the greatest inventions ever. A flask that looks like a tampon?!? I wish I came up with this sh*t. Seriously, this bad boy works like a charm. They are super incognito. Seriously, no one is going to shake your tampon to see if there is booze in there.

Only downside? These lil ladies are obvious gender specific. I mean, you guys can try to spin it like you’re holding it for your girlfriend, and the bouncer/whatever will likely believe you, but you might look like a weirdo. But hey, if you don’t care, then go for it! Let’s just say, these work every damn time without a hitch.

Warning: These are not real tampons, don’t shove one up your hoo haa.

Get yours here.

2. Ice Pack Flask

Were you recently injured? Want to be? Bring this ice pack flask into a concert or festival, and just add a little limp to the mix. No one will doubt you! Hopefully you’ll be a little drunk by then, so your performance will be slightly more believable.

But seriously, this thing is genius. I mean, not everyone carries an ice pack with them everywhere, but if you have a cast or something, this thing won’t get a second glance. Sure, it might be harder to bring into festivals as a normal super healthy person, but this thing is perfect for cruises and other things that require you sneaking in booze. And this big kahuna holds a lot of booze, so it’s definitely a good pick if you really want to get schwasted.

Get yours here.

3. Smartphone Flask

Alright, we’re not going to lie to you, if this smartphone flask is sitting next to a real iphone, you’re going to tell the difference. It’s f*cking plastic, what do you expect for 30 bucks? An iphone equivalent? I didn’t think so.

But on it’s own, this bad boy is full proof. If you’re getting your bag checked, no one will second guess this awesome gadget. Just be careful not to have both your phone flask and actual phone in your bag at the same time, cause that might warrant a “why do you have two phones?” If this happens, say you’re holding it for your friend that doesn’t have a bag or pockets.

Let me just reiterate, this thing looks legit on it’s own, but next to a REAL WORKING IPHONE it sticks out like a sore thumb. So just, like, put your real phone somewhere else playa.

Get yours here.

4. Trinken Lid

Do you want to drink at work or school? Obviously I probably shouldn’t condone it, but if I did, this would be your answer. This bad boy trinken lid attaches to ANY can, and fits into a coffee cup no problemo. I mean, sure, if you smell like booze someone might be like “is that an Irish Coffee?” But the bright side? They won’t be like “is there a can in there?” So you’re still being sneaky and getting away with it!

But seriously, this thing really works, and it is AMAZING. I had to make a speech for school, which I cannot do sober. I brought this bad boy to class, drank a lil to calm me down, and I got a B! Okay, cool, a B in speech class is a big deal for someone with social anxiety that hates public speaking. DON’T JUDGE.

Get yours here.

5. Lotion Flask

As someone that carries lotion around on the reg, this was a no brainer purchase for me. You gotta be smooth, your sexual conquests always dig it, I promise. But anyways, this lotion flask is the bomb.com.

You might be thinking “why do I need this? I can just pour alcohol into an old lotion bottle.” Well, of course you can do that, but don’t be a dummy! No matter how hard you try, there still might be some lotion residue in there, and that sh*t is nasty. Who wants to ingest chemicals? NO ONE. You’re already pounding booze, do you need more toxic stuff in your body? Didn’t think so.

Get yours here.

6. Reseal Bottle Caps

If you’re one of those people that are all about putting your booze in water bottles, how is that working out for you? Not 100% right? That’s because that’s the oldest trick in the book, and betches have been caught with water bottle booze since water bottles became a damn thing. Also, what kind of idiots use whisky? I’ve seen that, ya’ll are just begging to be caught.

But anyways, once you fill your water bottle with CLEAR liquor, now what do you do? What if they open it post seal, take a sniff, and are like BOY BYE? The solution? These reseal bottle caps. You just pop one of these on your water bottle, and it looks like a brand new bottle that hasn’t been opened or tampered with. It’s a great cheap purchase if you’re not looking to buy a whole giant flask. But the issue is once you use it once, you can’t use it again. So you’re likely better off buying a sneaky flask that lasts forever rather than a product you have to keep purchasing over and over again.

Get yours here.

7. BoozeBrella

Does the forecast say rain? Need an umbrella? Well, then don’t buy this umbrella if you want to be shielded from the elements. However, you should totally buy this umbrella flask if you want to get hella drunk.

Sure, this doesn’t actually have dual functions as an umbrella and flask, but let’s just say this sneaky AF flask gets the job done. No one will EVER be like “is that a flask?” It’s the best hiding-in-plain-sight flask. And not only is it incredibly discrete, but it holds a f*ckton of booze. It’s the perfect accessory to any event. No one’s ever like “why do you have an umbrella?” Because the obvious answer is “it might rain.” So it’s the best way of bringing along a whole lot of booze without any questions asked.

Get yours here.

8. Booze Sports Bra

Your initial reaction is probably like “great, this is for girls only.” Well, I beg to differ! Sure, women are usually the gender to wear a bra, but who gives a flying f*ck! This booze sports bra is a great way to hide booze, just be careful if you’re expecting a pat down, ’cause if your a dude, someone might be like “are you wearing a bra?”

But if you’re comfortable with your masculinity, then just rock the damn thing! It’s comfortable, and it’s a great way of having your booze on you at all times. Another perk? Temperature. This thing is a godsend in the heat, and makes your tig ole biddies feel like and cool. Seriously, your ta tas will thank you for this one.

Warning: mine fit me perfectly, but many reviews say that they run small, so size up!

Get yours here.

9. Hairbrush Flask

Do you have hair? Do you brush it? Well, then this hairbrush flask is the perfect flask for you! You see, not only is this an excellent hair brush, but you can put your libations in there as well! It’s a pretty solid two for one deal, and you’d be a fool not to buy one of these bad boys.

If you’ve got beautiful locks of hair, it’s possible you already carry a brush around with you. So time to retire your dreary old regular brush, and upgrade to this brush flask. Seriously, it’s just beyond perfect. There is no where you can’t bring this thing. Actually, if you go to a balding convention, that might be in poor taste.

Get yours here.

10. Bracelet Flask

Want to go out on the town, but you’re on a budget and you don’t feel like spending a f*ckton of money on booze? Well, this bracelet flask is here to help! Hit the club or that nice restaurant and spend the money you’d normally spend on ridiculously overpriced drinks on yummy snacks when you’re drunk and hungry.

Seriously, this thing is genius. Pop open that bracelet on the dance floor in the club, wave em like you just don’t care, and sneak a shot, while lookin’ super hawt. Or just make a couple bathroom runs while you’re at the fancy schmancy restaurant and take a couple shots! Imagine the extra food you could buy when you’re not spending 10+ bucks on a beverage. This purchase is definitely a no-brainer.

Get yours here.

11. Infinity Scarf Flask

Wanna take your alcohol to infinity and beyond? Then this is the perfect scarf for you! Not only will this infinity scarf flask keep your beautiful neck nice and toasty, but you’ll have easy access to your libation of choice. Seriously, this thing is so freaking discrete, you can straight up take it anywhere. I mean, I’d maybe avoid airport security, but otherwise, it works for any occasion. Funerals, school, concerts, work.. you name it!

This scarf is the perfect accessory. No more needing your hands to drink! Imagine all the things you can now do! You can drink and text and masturbate all at the same time. It’s like, a dream come true.

Get yours here.

12. Bible Flask

Have you always wanted to drink in church but never figured out how to pull it off? Well, now you can with this bible flask! No more sitting in boring church for hours and hours. Now you can play church drinking games such as my favorite, take a sip when they say Jesus! You’ll get super plastered in no time.

This hilarious flask also makes an incredible gift, because who wouldn’t want a flask within a bible? It also works in other scenarios, like traveling or family get togethers. But be careful not to bring this into a temple or mosque, because that would just be hella obvious.

Warning: people might find it offensive. Go figure.

Get yours here.

13. Shampoo and Conditioner Flask

So these shampoo and conditioner flasks probably aren’t the best one to carry around all the time, because who just carries shampoo and conditioner with them everywhere? NO ONE, THAT’S WHO.

But this awesome set is perfect for traveling, especially to cruises where they don’t let you bring your own alcohol. These mofos hold a lot of booze, and are perfectly discrete. And sure, just like the lotion flask, you might be thinking you can DIY this shiz, but think again. Shampoo tasting vodka is not the idea flavor, just sayin’. If ya don’t know, now ya know.

Get yours here.

14. Smuggle Mug

Tired of those boring business meetings and classes that are more of a snooze fest than actually educational? Well, let me introduce you to the Smuggle Mug. This isn’t your mothers travel mug, this thing is crazy inventive. You booze is well hidden, so even if someone checked your cup, they wouldn’t see sh*t!

And if you’ve got a little joint you want to carry around, the bottom compartment is perfect for hiding your bud. Seriously, it’s the perfect mug for the person that just wants to drink and smoke the day away, without getting caught.

Get yours here.

15. Candy Box Flask

This candy box flask is genius, especially for the people that want a little variety. It holds 5 mini flasks, so you can have different types of booze as well as mixers. It’s an awesome choice if you’d rather drink mixed drinks than just hit the same booze and flask all day.

I plan on bringing this mofo to music festivals, because after sitting in the hot sun all day, I don’t want to drink straight liquor only, and wouldn’t mind having a couple drinks to mix. I’ll be sipping gin and juice all day in the hot sun, and I won’t give AF.

Warning: don’t let kids see you with this box of candy.

Get yours here.

16. Bug Spray Flask

Bug spray is one of those things you can usually get away with having on you at all times. Who likes bugs? ONLY WEIRDO FREAKS. No one wants anything bugging them (lol).

But seriously, this lil bug spray flask is the best invention since white bread. It hold 12 freakin’ ounces of booze, so you have the ability to get super schwasted if that’s what you want to do. It works incredibly well, no leakage or any of that nonsense. I can’t recommend this product enough. Just maybe don’t take camping with you, because you don’t want to mix it up with your real bug spray and drink that instead. Yikes.

Get yours here.

17. Messenger Bag Flask

This messenger bag flask is so ridiculously legit I CAN’T EVEN. It straight up holds 30 mother f*cking ounces of booze. Want to make friends? Take one of these to an event and you’ll be the life of the party, and just give shots all around!

But besides it’s obvious discreteness, the best part about this has to be that you can also use it as a bag. Even with 30 ounces of hooch in there, you can still fit your belongings. So you can get your booze on AND not have to carry a second bag for your other crap… cause how strange would you look walking around with two bags? It’d ruin the whole damn thing.

Get yours here.

18. Camera Flask

As a budding photographer, maybe it’s pretty normal for you to have cameras on you at all times. Well, then this is the perfect flask for you. No one will give this camera flask a second thought, because it looks seriously legit. It’s also a great gift for your photographer friend.

Only drawback? It doesn’t actually take pictures.. ugh. I guess something about alcohol mixing with electronics.. whatever. I’m going to create a flask that takes pictures! Patent pending.

But jokes aside, this flask is really awesome. You can wear that bad boy around your neck and take a swig from it whenever you want. Just hope that no one asks for you to take a picture of them, ’cause that’ll just be awkward AF.

Get yours here.

19. Santa Hat Secret Flask

Sure, this Santa hat flask is slightly seasonal.. but hey, why wear a regular boring Santa hat on the holidays when you can have one full of booze! This is perfect for that mall Santa that hates life and wants a little swig every now and again. Also, I believe it is completely acceptable to wear this the entire month of December. Heck, wear it all around if you got the cojones to pull it off.

And don’t worry, it doesn’t leak! So no liquor will be trickling down that gorgeous head of hair you’ve got. No one wants a sticky head of booze during the holidays!

Get yours here.

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