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20+ Absurd Things Married Couples Did To Each Other

Image via Giphy

When you think of finding “the one,” you usually suspect that they’ll share the same core values as you, that they’ll make you feel all tingly inside, that the sex is out of this world, and you can’t imagine your life without them. Getting to marry your soulmate might seem like the be-all and end-all, but what happens when the honeymoon’s over and you’re left choosing somewhere to eat with the same person for the rest of your life?

When you’re metaphorically (and sometimes literally, you freaky freaks) tied to another person, you have to keep things interesting. For some married couples, that means leaving risky or kinky or petty word magnet poems on the fridge condemning the other person for  drinking straight out of the carton. It’s always taking a selfie in the middle of an argument to break the tension. It’s teasing the cat with a laser pointer by the light switch because the two of you are too gahd-damn lazy to get up from the bed while binge watching Gilmore Girls. See, marriage isn’t all bad!

We all have our little idiosyncrasies that make us unique, and marriage is about learning to love those idiosyncrasies in your partner in all of their wonderful and annoying and sometimes difficult glory. If you’re married, or ever thinking of getting married, take a cue from these couples and keep things interesting. Cause what’s the alternative? Living a boring and mundane life of traditional life markers filled with emptiness and absolutely zero fun? Yeah that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

These 29 married couples know exactly how to push each other’s buttons in the best (and sometimes annoyingly cutest) ways possible:


1. “My wife didn’t appreciate my fridge magnet poem.”

2. “Asked my wife where my eye drops were. She responded, ‘In the bedroom on the tv stand under the light switch slightly trapped between the wall.'”

3. For the past two years, anything sitting in our garage that the wife says we can’t get rid of, I’ve hung as “art” in our otherwise useless front room.”

4. “My husband sure knows how to make her bloated, pregnant wife feel good on her birthday.”

 

5. “My husband’s reaction when he tasted that I added whiskey to his coffee.”

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.