21 Cops Reveal The Strangest Reasons They’ve Had To Arrest Someone

6.

My old man told me a story about how he arrested a serial public masturbator. The guy would literally jerk off in a massive trench coat and as he was close to the money shot he would run over to bus stops and ejaculate on people of the public. It got pretty bad as the police couldn’t find him and had no hints as to where he would offend next. I think he targeted school children or younger women.

7.

I have a friend who is a federal probation officer and specializes in sex offenders. He always has crazy stories of stuff you never even thought might be real. He had one client who had been arrested for anally douching with Dr. Pepper in the bathroom of a Roy Rogers restaurant. Apparently this had happened several times. I guess people with those proclivities are very specific with place, time, douching agent, etc., so it was not difficult to catch him once they figured out his pattern.

8.

I have arrested a man not once, but twice for having sex with a dead white tail deer corpse. He likes fresh road kill for some reason.

9.

A friend of a friend has a mental disorder that leads him to do strange things sometimes. He was once arrested for being in a bathroom on the campus of a major university “flushing for Jesus.”

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.