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21 Doctors Confess The Dumbest Things They Have Ever Heard From A Patient

17.

I’ve told more than one parent that their infant should not be drinking Dr. Pepper out of their bottle (or any other vessel for that matter).

18.

My grandmother was the ignorant one getting an explaining. She was 18 and in labour with her first child. She was the kind of lady to wear pants in the late 40s. The nurse looked her up and down and told her to put on the labor clothes. So she took off her top and bra, and got on the bed. The nurse is really confused ‘take off your pants too.’ ‘Why? It comes out my belly button right?’ asked Grandma. “No darling, it comes out the way he came in.”

19.

Had to explain to a 27 year old female that this bleeding she was having for a week every month was normal and why. She had two children, btw.

20.

Podiatrist buddy told me this one. Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesnt seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s ok because the foot will grow back. He then had to explain she’s not a salamander. Things got a bit more serious.

21.

Had a lady measure her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.