Going to the doctor can be one of the most embarrassing, scary, hilarious, and awkward experiences ever — especially when the nurse or doctor asks you those dreaded “sexual history” questions. You might as well be standing in front of a college lecture completely butt naked talking about how you lost your virginity in the back seat of your mom’s minivan (and that sh*t wasn’t pretty, y’all).
Medical professionals are just trying to get the full picture when we hobble in complaining of pain or that weird rash on our junk, but as soon as they start asking and prodding and inquiring — our initial response is to lie, lie, lie.
What is it about a gynecologist’s office that makes women turn into shameful, embarrassed, awkward liars? I say, wave your freak flag high because there’s no use in embellishing the truth about that time you had an unprotected orgy in Ibiza because your vagina will end up telling them everything they need to know anyway!
So the next time you get asked about your sexual history, just tell the truth. Lying can get you into some pretty deep sh*t. Hell — your life may even be on the line, so maybe you should just go ahead and tell the nice doctor or nurse that you “accidentally” stuck a cucumber up your bum hole. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯