Posted on: Sep 14 2017

21 Of The Most Insane Things That Have Happened During Childbirth

Writer


Image via Giphy

Ah, the miracle of life. It’s a wondrous occasion of love, babies, and trying not to tear your vagina all the way down the taint to your butt hole. Yes, giving birth is a magical thing. Labor is also probably one of the most difficult thing that happens on earth, but that sh*t can become a bit more tricky to navigate when your body, family members, and pushy doctors get in the way of a smooth delivery.

Like, you know things are about to get weird when Dad brings in his young teenage daughter thinking it’s her appendix, but then ends up breaking the news to Mom that they are, in fact, going to be grandparents. Shouts out to all my sisters who beat teen pregnancy! Young parents might not have the wisdom and forethought when it comes to welcoming new life into the world, but it sure is cute when a young dad grabs some sterile gloves and gets ready to deliver that baby himself. At least he’s ready to get his hands dirty!

So whether you found out that your wife had cheated on you via the color of the baby’s skin or you projectile shat all the way across the delivery room when pushing — there’s never a dull moment when giving birth. Just ask any doctor, nurse, or parent and they’ll be sure to tell you just how amazing, rewarding, messy, and downright exhausting the miracle of life really is!

You won’t believe the crazy & ridiculous things that happened when these 21 women gave birth:


1.

Friend’s daughter went into labor, on the way to hospital stopped for a Gatorade (red). Later in hospital when labor was at a very intense stage she vomited all over the bed, floor, partner etc. Looked like blood because it was red, you have never seen medical staff move so fast when they think a woman in labor is vomiting blood!

2.

The father of the woman (young) giving birth putting on sterile gloves, mask thinking he was going to be the one delivering the baby.

3.

Wife in labor: “John, I’m hungry.” John: “Don’t worry, babe, you’re going to have all the placenta you want in a minute.” Nurses did not find this hilarious.

4.

My mothers labor was extremely short, I was born within an hour. So that means that she went from experiencing minimal pain, to extreme pain with little time to adjust. When my dad was driving her to the hospital, he unfortunately had to stop for gas. He went into pay, and just then an elderly man in a wheelchair stopped him, asking him to buy cigarettes for him as the store was not wheelchair accessible. My mom then proceeded to lean out the window, yelling “DONT HELP THE CRIPPLE.” We have never let her forget that one.

5.

Most babies are born head first, so if you were to look up the birth canal, you see the top of the head. But sometimes there are other birth presentations: feet first, butt first, etc. Anyway, my professor went to check the cervix (re: she stuck her hand up a woman’s vagina) and was startled when something started sucking on her finger. It was a face presentation and she apparently stuck her finger in the baby’s mouth. lol Not a sensation she was expecting in a vagina.
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