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21 Of The Most Insane Things That Have Happened During Childbirth

6.

The nurses didn’t believe my mom when she said she was in labor. The rooms were all full and they set her in a x-ray room on the table. She started getting bad contractions and they couldn’t move her. That’s the story of how I was born on an x-ray table.

7.

When I was born, I apparently came out with thick black hair and jaundiced, making me look much more Latino than my two very-white parents. My mom then turned to my dad and said “Honey, I have something to tell you…” and as she tells it “All the doctors and nurses found something to keep them busy quickly.” My dad found it all funny, and they tell the story still, 30 years later

8.

Work as a midwife in the UK. The craziest thing I saw was when I was looking after a young girl (probably 19/20) on her third baby. The baby’s father casually sat in the corner of the delivery room talking to his new girlfriend on skype watching her strip naked and other unmentionable actions. All the while his ex was an emotional wreck in the throws of labor. Needless to say he was kicked out sharpish.

9.

My coworker was choked by a patient who had a panic attack during her C-Section. My charge nurse once got bitten by a patient during a contraction. One of my patients was laboring without an epidural, and falling asleep between contractions. I knew the next one was coming when she’d wake up and swear. “Goddammit. Here we go.” “Fuck, here’s another one.” “Shit. Again?” It was kind of adorable.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.