When you’re going through puberty (and beyond), sometimes the only way to quench your insatiable sexual thirst is to rub one out. Hey — it’s wonderful and natural and you don’t have to pick someone up in a bar because you’re already a sure thing! Thanks right hand; love you.
Although, when you’re 11, 12, 13, etc, sh*t can get a little out of hand. Maybe you’ve just figured out the whole fapping thing and you have to do it ALL THE TIME in order to reach your full masturbating potential. That’s a whole lot of carpal tunnel and tissues and lotion, if you ask me. But do you, you lil pubescent freaky freaks!
There’s also bound to be some very messy and embarrassing situations that you’ll inevitably find yourself in. Like when mom walks into your bedroom right as you’re coming and it shoots directly into your eye. Mom can’t un-see that and you will try as hard as you can to bury that sh*t deep inside with all of the rest of your suppressed childhood memories.
So fap on folks! Just make sure to lock the door for f*ck’s sake.