Sure, private investigators can be hired to follow husbands that wives suspect of cheating, they can try to catch employees who are definitely lying about their injuries for workers compensation, but they can also be hired to stalk your cat to get down to the real, pressing reasons for Precious’ mysterious weight gain. It turns out, after hours of extensive following and dodging behind cars, every single neighbor on her street would feed her. #CASECLOSED
While private investigators aren’t always tasked with bone-chilling murder investigations or million dollar fraud cases, that doesn’t necessarily mean that their days are boring and uneventful. Okay, some are — but every now and then they get that once in a lifetime task where they uncover some pretty insane sh*t.
Like, I bet when they woke up one morning, I’m sure they weren’t expecting to follow a nurse (who had called out sick to work) all the way to her other work — a strip joint. I mean, I can’t fault the lady. Stripping can be great money. And if we’re being honest, she WAS giving some sort of physical to “patients.”
You won’t believe what these 21 private investigators were hired to take on:
1.
A couple was divorcing and the wife was sure her husband was sticking random items of hers up his ass. He was.
2.
I’m a private fire investigator. I’ve seen some people do some weird shit but one of the strangest was the guy who was convinced that the church next door set his house on fire. He told us about how they came over and prayed on his car that it would break down, then it did. Then they came over and prayed that his house would burn down, and it did. Turns out the “church” next door is kind of a cult. And by kind of, I mean really a cult. But they didn’t burn the house. The tenant’s crazy ex boyfriend did. Thought I was going to get to interview cult members for awhile though.
3.
Did surveillance on a nurse. She was supposedly so disabled that she couldn’t work. They suspected she was working. Easiest surveillance I ever did. I arrived. She got in her car 10 minutes later. Followed her, with no complication, to a strip club where she went in and began doing her thing. Club had a posted prohibition on video. So I had to go in and watch her dance so that I could testify that I saw her dancing when it went to court. Over the next few days I followed her to three other strip clubs and did the same. That month I turned in the sketchiest expense report of my life.
4.
Was hired to follow a woman who claimed she was completely blind (collecting insurance money of course). Spent the day following her around as she DROVE from store to store in a church van.
5.
Someone wanted to know what their cat was up to when they were working. Paid me to tail it. I don’t like wasting my time but the works not always busy as a PI. Turns out the cat just walks around the streets, licks itself and climbs trees.
Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.
