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21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

5.

I had a 60ish year old woman get in my car shitfaced at like 3 in the afternoon 2 days before Christmas. She had me drive her to get 2 handles of vodka at the liquor store and then to a drug store where she bought cocaine in the parking lot. Just so much cocaine. She then got back in my car and told me she wanted to go to Ross Dress for Less to shop for clothes along with what must have been a half pound of cocaine. On the way she told me that her husband was in the Italian Mafia, and proceeded to very uncomfortably hit on me.

6.

A guy rolled down the window and shit out of it while I was driving about 75 mph. The main problem was it was the middle of a day and a state trooper was behind me. That was an awkward traffic stop to say the least.

7.

It was a pool ride. First guy seemed drunk but not that much. The next passengers are a couple of friends, they did not seem to have ever met this first dude before. The guy sits at the front and the girl in the back, they are all going to the same side of town, and we proceed with the ride. As I make small talk with the dude in the front seat, the two in the back are having a conversation, but about 15 minutes later I don’t hear anything. I look in the mirror, and sure enough, they are making out furiously, pressing on the door. I have to pick up another pax, and she has to cough to get their attention so they would slide and make room. Anyway, the couple’s destination is the first, so they say goodbye and that’s it.

8.

I picked up a pax at a seedy strip club. Turned out she was a dancer. Security walked her out, tucked her into my car, and called her by her stage name, which was Peaches. Her name, at least on the account, was Linda. It was an hour drive, from one end of the city to the other. She didn’t say a word, and spent a fair bit of time counting and sorting cash, which looked to be all ones.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.