entertainment

The 21 Worst Airplane Experiences

13.

Circling Atlanta because it was covered in a severe thunderstorm. We went round & round for over an hour, this was after a 4 hour flight from Phoenix. Pilot comes over the speaker with “folks we’re out of fuel so we’re landing now”. We started the descent & it went pitch black. You could hear alarms in the cockpit & the engines over revving like they were going to explode. It was terrifying. We would suddenly drop every few seconds, just straight down, & a startled gasp would echo throughout the passengers but they still stayed quiet. The pilot came back on & said we were about to touch down and to brace for possible impact. When we landed it felt like we just dropped 30 feet down instead of gliding down to the runway. You could hear the tires screaming on the wet pavement. Finally we came to a complete stop & just sat there for what felt like an eternity.

14.

A few years ago I used to be a DJ and got a few gigs on other cities, there was this great gig where I went with 4 other guys and we got wasted but went to bed relatively early, except for one of them who kept binging almost until our flight back. It was a hot city and we stayed on the runway for a while, at some point I looked over and he was pale, looking like he was dying. The stewardess noticed him, said we couldn’t fly with a zombie and canceled the take off. The protocol was that a doctor from the airport had to check him, but there was a doctor on board that checked him with a stethoscope and said he was fine, so we took off and he drank tons of water on that hour flight. When we landed, the doctor said he was an OB Gyn who knew he was wasted, so he half assed the diagnose just to get going.

15.

Longest flight I’ve been on, overnight Los Angeles to Sydney. Wake up 2 hours in with the hands of the guy next to me under my shirt, trying to get into my pants. As soon as I realised what was going on (it took me a while to click on, I was quite deep asleep) I yelled at him and punched him. I then jumped over him and the other passenger (I was a window seat) and ran to the back of the plane for help. I ended up pressing charges. The court process went on for 2 years. He got found guilty initially, but let off in appeal because they couldn’t prove he was awake when he did it (spoiler: he was). It was awful, my worst flight experience ever, and up there with one of the shittest things to happen to me ever.

16.

I was sitting next to an adult with learning disabilities, and he shat himself right before takeoff. It was a transatlantic flight. Next to a grown man sitting in a pile of his shit. Poor guy, but more pertinently poor me.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.