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The 21 Worst Airplane Experiences

17.

On a trip from Portland OR, to Las Vegas. The pilot comes on the radio about 15 min after take-off and tells us we’re about to hit a really rough patch of turbulence and that nobody can get out of their seats. I’ll never forget his words “This is going to get rough folks, I’m sorry, but we’ll be ok.” For the next 2 hours, I experienced exactly that, the worst turbulence I have ever experienced on a flight. This wasn’t just minor bumps, this was up and downs and big dips into massive air pockets. The lights flickered a few times, luggage compartments opened and stuff fell. I was sitting in the rear and all I could hear clinks and clanks of the flight attendant drink trays. It was f*cking awful. It felt like the airplane scene in Almost Famous.

18.

Lady behind me brought her kid who screamed the entire 4 hour flight. Kicked my seat. Screamed some more. Had a tantrum and was climbing over the back of my seat and shaking it furiously. Meanwhile, the mom is just sitting there smiling, not even apologizing or trying to correct the behavior at all. I had the worst headache when we got off.

19.

My wife farted. It f*cking stank so bad that I could hear people complain 3 rows back. She pretended to be asleep. An air hostess walked up to me and started blasting me with some flowery air purifier. I got the full blame for it.

20.

I was once on an airplane sitting in first class. There was a man sitting in my row that was clipping his f*cking toenails and they were FLYING in all sorts of directions. He then proceeded to take that long metal thing on toenail clippers, clean out his toe jam, and wipe it all over his seat.

21.

I had the window seat. The passenger next to me was begging me to switch seats as she wanted to take some photos out of the window. Reluctantly i agreed to switch places with her. I was seated in between her & her husband. I had asked the husband if he would like to sit beside his wife, but for whatever reason he refused. I’m a bit shy so I couldn’t insist any further The whole flight consisted of the couple loudly conversing over my head. The worst part was, about 30 minutes into the flight, the husband decided to take off his socks and shoes. The smell was so bad. I didn’t have the courage to ask the man to put his shoes back on, but lucky the passenger in front asked a flight attendant to tell the man to put his shoes back on. The lady never ended up raising the window blinds to take pictures.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.