Posted on: Aug 08 2017

23 Anal Sex Horror Stories That Will Make You Gag

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Let’s face it — when it comes to anal sex and other butt stuff, sh*t can get in the way of you and your partner having an orgasmically pleasing experience. And as much as you douche and prep and clean your bum, sometimes, sh*t can (and will) hit the fan. Literally.

Anal isn’t one of those sexual acts that you can just spontaneously jump into without any forethought — or lube. For f*ck’s sake, everyone — if you’re going to do anal, make sure you have enough lube to coat an entire Slip ‘n Slide so that penetration can happen smoothly and without any discomfort for the person your ramming your cock/dildo/finger into. I mean, I don’t think anyone was ever like, “Man — I wish we didn’t use so much lube just now when you were f*cking my butt hole with your 8 inch monster d*ck, Jason.”

Like, if you’re going to be dancing the chocolate cha cha, you can’t get squeamish about a little bit of poo. Sh*t happens and that’s just a part of life. But when you’re leaking jizzy diarrhea from your bum onto your boyfriend’s d*ck and then he starts a chain-reaction of vomit and poop and more vomit — well — you clean yourselves off and never f*cking talk about that sh*t again. Ever.

These 23 anal sex horror stories will definitely make you gag:

Have fun! And always use lube!


1.

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2.

My then-boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to try having anal sex in the shower. We made the very stupid mistake of using shampoo for lube. It was terrible and embarrassing! I jumped out of the shower, called my sister, and asked what the hell to do because it burned so badly. She laughed at me. I had to kick him out of the shower and let the water run on it for a while. It took a couple days for the hurt to finally go away. I don’t suggest trying this ever.

3.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I were hooking up in his car, and he suggested we do anal. I agreed, but felt nervous about it because I had no idea what it’d be like. So he put it in and my asshole was not down — I ended up shitting all over him. I immediately started crying while he was wiping his shit-covered dick off with my sock.

4.

I have a heart condition where I faint when I get hurt. I don’t tell many people, ’cause I don’t think everyone needs to know. Well, my boyfriend was slamming into me during sex once and slipped out, and when he tried to ram it back in, he accidentally went in the wrong hole. I screamed and tried to run to the bathroom — I didn’t want to faint in front of him. But I didn’t make it; I passed out on his bedroom floor and woke up to hear him screaming for his MOM to come help!
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