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23 Blow Job Horror Stories That Will Make You Gag

Having a penis in your mouth or sticking a penis in someone else’s mouth, when done properly, can be one of the most sexually satisfying feelings ever. For those of us who love to give a good d*ck sucking, the power and confidence that it instills in our sexual self-esteem is unlike any feeling in the world. Yes, your d*ck is in my mouth, and yes, I am going to make you squirm and squeal with fervent pleasure on my own terms.

I can’t speak for my cock wielding brethren of the world, but I imagine getting a blowjob is similar to the feeling you get when someone scratches your head and you get goosebumps everywhere — only much, much more slobbery and wet. When teeth and genitalia are in close quarters, though, one has to make sure to proceed with caution. RIP to the dude who got a beej from the inexperienced girl with braces.

Blow jobs can go from exhilarating and orgasmic to pukey and cringeworthy at the drop of a hat. So just make sure that you’re not too drunk, you keep your chompers at bay, and you definitely, under no cirCUMstances, shove a girl’s head onto your cock. She will throw up on you and she will definitely not be giving you any more blowjobs. #PROTIPS

Thes 23 blow job horror stories will definitely make you lose your (lady) boner:


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Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.