Clinginess, always checking their phone, constantly talking — oh, HELL NAH. It’s hard to say what exactly brings two people together — common interests, pheromones, genital compatibility — but one can be absolutely 100% sure that things won’t work out if bae uses the wrong “you’re” in a text message. That’s just the world we live in.
Maybe you meet someone at the coffee shop (HA JKJK it was Tinder) and you decide to meet up later in the week for drinks. Hey, he seemed cute and cool and not like he’d chop you up into a million little pieces and then eat you for dinner. So you grab happy hour, things are going smoothly, and he leans in for a kiss. You catch a whiff of a dead animal that seems to be coming from his mouth and NOPE right out of there.
Sometimes, you have to be a little choosey, and sometimes, people just won’t make the cut. If your new GF smacks gum like her jaw is falling off or you can’t stand her smoker’s breath — then BYE. You may not be getting laid a lot, but at least you have some peace of mind. For now.
