Growing up is sometimes a hard fact of life to face. Hangovers start getting way sh*ttier after 25, that fast metabolism you once had peaces out around 30, and the exuberance and carefree nature of your youth seems to get smaller and smaller as careers, relationships, and kids (ew gross) start to take up more of your time.
And there’s nothing like a little bit of decades-old popular culture to really make death stare you straight in the eye, grandpa. I mean, I still think movies that came out in 2006 are only a few years old. Yep, that’s right — annoying bros have been quoting Borat for over 10 years! Oh, and Alanis Morissette’s flawless album, Jagged Little Pill, came out over TWO DECADES ago. Kids today will never know the angsty pain and pleasure of belting out a skewed sense of irony on their boombox like we did.
So grab a box of tissues and get ready to mourn your youth because sh*t is about to get real. I’m talking — my dreamy teenybopper bae, Leo DiCaprio, is 42 years old — kind of real. I just want someone to paint me like one of Jack’s French girls and then let me have the entire plank of wood kind of love. Sigh.