When you’re having sex, or really doing anything sexual, all you’re thinking about it getting off, and enjoying the moment. You’re not thinking about all the possible ways you could get injured during the process.
But sex injuries aren’t only real, they’re terrifying. Sometimes they hit you when you least expect it. You just wanted to do it in the butt, and you didn’t anticipate ripping out someone’s a** hole. Other times people are just asking to be injured. Like, if you’re f*cking an ANIMAL, you’re a POS and a sex injury was inevitable.
The following 23 medical workers came across some horrifying sex injuries while on the job. Like, lots of things stuck up butts. Seriously.. SO. MANY. BUTT. INJURIES. Like, woah. So people, please, watch what you stick up your booty, and just, play safe. ‘Cause those sex injuries could f*ck you up for the rest of your life.
These 23 medical workers witnessed the most horrible sex injuries:
1.
Worked near a college campus where we would stop at least once a month to pick up an undergrad from a guy we started calling the ripper. He got that nickname because we’d always bring a girl from his house to the ER for torn vaginal tissue.
2.
I saw an x-ray of a guy with a peppercorn grinder in the rectum. A colleague asked the consultant surgeon if there was any pepper still in it. The normally-humourless surgeon said, “Why don’t you turn him upside down and give him a shake?”
3.
Valentine’s Day about 5 years ago we had a couple come in. I was called to do an abdomen xray for “foriegn body”. Turns out he had a 12″ dildo in his rectum. His wife had been using it on him and lost control and it slipped all the way in. He had to go into emergency surgery because he had perforated his bowel. he made it. Not sure what happened to the dildo.
4.
One of my friends was an EMT. He had to respond to a call once for a guy who injured his penis. It turns out he was trying to f*ck his cat and his cat wasn’t having any of it. He said that was the only time on the job he lost it laughing in front of the patient.
Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.
