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23 Men Confess Their Most Awkward Boner Horror Stories

Dudes — we get it. Sometimes you just can’t control when you pop a raging, out of control boner. I mean, I attended middle school. I know the woes of a 12 year old boy walking between classes, sitting at a desk and having to get up, eating lunch. Actually — middle school boys basically have a boner ALL OF THE TIME. But hey, it’s just puberty.

What I can’t understand is how the tent starts sailing at your grandmother’s funeral. Or when you’re consoling your girlfriend when she’s crying on your shoulder. Or worse, when your wife is giving birth. Some fetishes I will just never get, but you do you, bro!

Boners are a wonderful and wacky and annoying thing (in the wrong moment). I love a good hard boner as much as the next boner lover, but could y’all please try to contain your wood when standing on a crowded train. Love, every person on every train ever.

These 23 dudes popped boners at the most inopportune times:


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Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.