23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

by Irvi Torremoro

21.

During my ‘talk’, my mother likened an erect penis to a shaken up soda bottle. Complete with vigorous arm gestures. That’s not an image I can ever quite blank out…

22.

I was 15 or 16 year old girl and not a virgin. My father and I were on an hour-long car trip. As soon as we got on our way, he introduced the topic in the form of a rap, then rambled vaguely. Awkwardest thing ever.

23.

My dad turned to me after lunch one day and said “Son. Before you do anal, make sure she’s had an enema. Some sights can just turn your stomach.”

Written by Irvi Torremoro

Irvi Torremoro is an Austinite by way of Las Vegas. She's worked in various outlets in food & beverage and is now focused on writing, eating all the things, talking about Beyonce, and petting all the puppies. She runs flavorandbounty.com, a lifestyle blog about people in the service industry.