23 of the Strangest Methods People Used to Try to Turn Someone On

17.

Saying she’s feeling suicidal, then sending me nudes as thanks for “being there for me when I needed” for the following week.

18.

When me and my mrs first started dating 4 years ago, we met up in town and I took her behind Subway. Cause ya know, needed a carb reload after whatever would’ve taken place. Anyway we start hooking up and I’m rubbing her down and whisper “ya like that?”, and she said yes and we continued then left. Recently she told me that night I was no where near her nethers, and was just rubbing on her thigh for a half hour thinking I was hitting that good spot. She didn’t say a word. We were 18 at the time.

19.

She liked to show me how wet she was. She’d casually stick her hand down her pants loading up a finge worth of grool & casually smear it on me saying “now you’re wet too!” She was particularly wet this one time & feeling really dirty. I rounded the corner in the house to tell her my parents had unexpectedly dropped by. Before I can get a word out she proceeds to smear this giant snail trail right across my face & lips. She didn’t hear the additional 2 sets of foot steps that were literally 10 feet behind me, & before I can do anything my parents round the corner as well. So I’m standing there with this very obvious line of stuff across my face. My mom says “You’ve got snot all over your face” & proceeds to hand me a tissue.

20.

Cat noises, and purring on my neck. She’d also purr during fellatio. It was strange. But like a true cocksman, I soldiered on.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.