Kids these days will never know the struggle of walking into a Blockbuster, going to look for that popular movie you wanted to rent, and have it be out of stock. So you’re stuck watching the same sh*tty Adam Sandler movie for the 67th time when all you really wanted to watch was Flubber. I love Billy Madison as much as the next person, but a girl can only take so much. STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN.
There are some things (mostly technological) that will forever live in the past. I mean, I see two year olds with iPads these days and I can’t help but shudder. I think the days of tense, five hour Monopoly games at the dinner table are far and gone. It makes me feel sad for the youth because they’ll never know what it’s like to flip an actual, physical board game across the room out of sheer bottled up millennial anger.
So the next time you hear a kid complain about how the WI-FI in the restaurant is “ughhh sooo slowww” — make sure to swipe them upside the face with a dial-up modem and start yelling at them about rewinding VHS tapes and waiting 348 hours for one pixel to load on your desktop. Maybe they can Instagram and live tweet your mental breakdown.