23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

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People go to amusement parks for a plethora of reasons. Some go for the funnel cake, some go to have their stomachs turned upside down on death drop rides, and some people go to these parks to make their employees’ lives a living f*cking hell. Like, shut up Barbara — no you cannot take your infant child on the ride with you. Jeez.

It always befuddles me how people over the age of 10 can (and oh they will) throw temper tantrums. Instead of screaming about the toy they didn’t get at their 5th birthday party, these b*tches are now coming out (with their own kids, mind you) and causing a sh*t storm of entitlement and stupidity for the rest of us while we’re just trying to get that adrenaline, yo. And I’m sure the nice 16 year old who’s manning the ferris wheel doesn’t appreciate when you threaten to knife their whole family in the parking lot because they didn’t allow your dog on the ride. Yikes.

So the next time you’re at Disneyland and you feel hints of rage and entitlement coming over you — just remember that you’re being a huge f*cking twat and everyone around is judging you relentlessly when you stomp your feet and act like a child. Rules are put in place for a reason, y’all. And I mean, we all saw Final Destination 3. Do you want to get decapitated by a rollercoaster for not following the rules and yelling at the nice ride master? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

These are 23 of the craziest adult temper tantrums that have ever happened at a theme park:


1.

I worked those not-quite-rigged games where you pay $2 to try to win a stuffed animal or basketball. One family was so upset over losing $10 that they threatened to wait for me at my car and knife me after work. The whole family.

2.

When I was in high school I was a face painter at a weekend festival involving a blue colored train who has adventures. Obviously we were just doing little trains on the kid’s cheeks. However one child threw a huge fit that he wanted his face to look just like Thomas the Tank Engine. Which frankly looks really freaking creepy. However his dad insisted and paid extra. Cue to five minutes after I spend 15 minutes carefully painting this kid’s face to have his psychotic mom go ballistic on me that I’ve ruined her family’s day and now her child looks like a demon. I was 16 and just sort of stared at her in shock and horror while the guy running the tent came over and escorted her out.

3.

A Jamaican dude who must have been 6’10 told me he’d kill me because I wouldn’t let him on the teacups. There was no room, I told him he could go on the next lot.

4.

Was running “wac-a-mole.” Some guy lost and punched the winner in the throat. Called security and he was kicked out, and they gave the winner some free stuff to apologize.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.