For some of us, movie theaters are sacred. We love eating our overpriced popcorn and candy, and watching a film on a big screen. Seriously, I love me some movie time. So when someone ruins that for me, I tend to FLIP A F*CKING SHIT.
People can be horrible in any setting, but ruining a movie experience for someone else is beyond low. Everyone knows about that no talking rule, and yet people still break it. And then there is that implied DON’T BE A PIECE OF SHIT rule that people seem to forget about.
Some examples? Don’t shit your pants and then sit there for 40 minutes, stinking up the whole theater. Or how about don’t crawl under seats and steal people stuff? Or what about don’t have sex in a movie theater? Sounds crazy right, who would do any of those things?
Well, these 23 people witnessed sh*t just like that. Yup, you read that correctly. So please, people, if you’ve done any of the following things in a movie theater, or just anywhere, take the time to reevaluate your life. And next time maybe just, like, don’t do that? Cool, thanks.
Here are 23 of the worst things that have happened in movie theaters:
1.
We were at a nearly empty theater and my mom put her purse & coat on the chair in front of her (I’m not sure why). There was a mom or grandma and her kid a few rows ahead who had her kid sneak under the seats and steal my mom’s purse, we didn’t realize it happened until after the movie and my mom found her purse in the restroom garbage with a bunch of stuff missing. People are monsters.
2.
I saw the Jungle Book a few weeks after it opened, hoping that it wouldn’t have so many kids in the theater and be a better experience that way. Well, I was right about there being fewer kids and them not being that much of a problem. What I didn’t account for was a woman in her 30’s, with no children, having her phone ring and then answering it and TALKING for a few minutes. In her seat. She didn’t leave the theater and go into the hall. She sat in her in seat and talked on the phone for 3-5 minutes. “Hello? Yeah, I’m at the movies. The Jungle Book. It’s good so far… blah blah blah.”
3.
Drunk guy in front of me shit himself. He waited at least 40 minutes before moving.
4.
The couple immediately in front of us were getting pretty hot and heavy with a make out session, then the girl moved into the guys lap. At first I thought this was just cuddling, then it became quite clear they were having sex in a crowded cinema, and her head bobbing up and down was ruining my view of the film.
Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.
