lifestyle

25 Flight Attendants Talk About Their Most Obnoxious Passengers

21.

People with infants. Seriously, Package that screaming little shit and puke factory up, and overnight ship it to your hotel. I have to clean up shit and puke, and they put the shit wipe and fucking diapers in the back of the chair pouches. Then they let them scream, and bug the fuck out of other passengers, who in turn BITCH AT ME FOR YOUR SCREAMING LITTLE MEAT DISCHARGE!

22.

I once had a passenger take of his shoes, put his dirty feet on the seat and clip all of his toenails. It was rude, there were toenails flying everywhere. He also left a nice pile of his hacked off heel skin on the seat for someone else to deal with.

23.

My sister is a flight attendant. She told the story of a passenger who dropped trou in the aisle and took a shit.

24.

My mom had Ted Kennedy once. He got super drunk during the flight and threw a fit. Made a huge mess. What a dick.

25.

I work for an airline and some of the stories of people touching themselves on board are pretty creepy. One guy apparently got off on the feeling of take off and landing and a flight attendant had to ask him ever so politely to stop masturbating. He was in Business Class so I guess a little too much privacy can go along way.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.