Posted on: Sep 14 2017

25 People Confess The Stupidest Way They Got Laid

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Image via Giphy

When thinking about the different ways to go about hitting on someone that you might potentially bang, there are a few things that one must consider like — how do I not come off as a creepy weirdo while trying to make conversation? Do I risk using a cheesy dad joke to make them laugh? Do I have gross smells exuding from my armpits or mouth? You want to put out the best, hottest, most fun and chill version of yourself. Does it always work? F*CK NO. Does the world throw you a bone every now and then so that you can get your bone on? Apparently!

Sometimes, you end up getting laid for completely ridiculous and stupid reasons. Maybe the universe felt bad for you. Or maybe that girl at the bar really did want to f*ck you for winning that burp off contest with your friend. Life works in mysterious ways, yo. But when the opportunity to consensually smush arises — you don’t ask questions — you roll with it and hopefully give and receive many, many orgasms.

So whether you tried out a ridiculous pick-up line on five different guys and the last one stuck (his d*ck inside you), or you accidentally stared longingly in the direction of that hot girl because you had to sneeze and she thought you were making a move — sometimes sex comes to you for the stupidest reasons. And it’s f*cking awesome.

These 23 people reveal the dumbest ways they’ve ended up having sex:


1.

Thinking I was gonna sneeze when not realizing I’m staring right at this girl for an extended period of time. Some how she took it as a move.

2.

Just got a new kitten. Was outside a club on my phone and locked it. Girl next to me saw my home screen of me with said kitten on my head. Asked about him and got talking. The night was winding up so I said I was gonna head home she goes in to grab her jacket and comes running back out asking to come back to my place and see my kitten. Things went as expected. Felines ended up being a bit of a theme for the rest of the night actually. Had the little guy maybe 4 days at that point. What a bro. He got a new bed the next day and more treats that he knew what to do with.

3.

Girl told me she didn’t like her how her butt was round like a melon. Told her I wanted a bite of that melon. She gave me a bite of that melon.

4.

Was at a new year’s party. At midnight, my best friend grabbed the back of my head, and the back of the head of the girl standing next to me, and shoved our faces together for the new year kiss. We ended up in an upstairs bedroom not long after.
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