27 Examples That Prove Children Really Are Evil

10.

My son told me last night I was a stupid tv that didn’t get wifi. . . I am not really sure what that means. He is four and trying to figure out how to cuss because he has older siblings who are teenagers and push those boundaries. He will say “I am gonna (random word) you up” because he doesn’t know what fuck means. we have lots and lots of time outs right now.

11.

“You’re so ugly that no guy will ever want you, so you will have to be a lesbian when you get older.” Said by my older sister.. as if that even makes sense.

12.

My 5 year old niece and her Dad go to the beach. The dad splashes her with water. Niece then looks up at him, looks disapproving and says in a matter of fact tone. “Daddy.. You’re the worst kind of bastard.” I literally had to turn away because of the silent tears of laughter.

13.

When my little brother was 4 or 5, he and our mother lived with my aunt. I was over visiting (I was 17 when he was born, so I was moved out by this point), and my extremely obese aunt mentioned how she wanted to start using her treadmill again, and in the snottiest little voice I had ever heard my brother scoffed and said “You’ll probably just break it with your weight.”

14.

I heard a kid tell his drowning little sister to “f*ck off.”

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.