17. Don’t be gate lice:
When everyone stands near the gate, waiting for their boarding group to call, you prevent other passengers from getting on board. Gate agents and flight attendants affectionately refer to this cloud as “gate lice”.
16. DON’T DRINK THE COFFEE:
Pilot here. Dont drink the coffee. The water comes from the onboard system that has the fill port right next to the port the lavatories are drained from. The water system routinely fails e-coli checks.
Also when you wash your hands using the same water make sure you always use the soap.
Lastly, dont put your food directly on the tray tables.
15. They pick BFFs…it’s not what you think. They also know when you fart:
Almost always we pick our BFF or Boyfriend for the Flight who is simply the most attractive guy on the flight just for a bit of fun. We also discuss amongst us how nice out ‘side’ is. On wide-body aircraft there’s 2 aisles and we work each side.
Once we’ve done the initial drinks round we often have a casual chat over what they’re like; “My side is pretty nice, they’re drinking a lot of alcohol though. 34D is a dick but there’s a family of four at the front who are lovely.”
If you drink too much and we cut you off when you ask for your 4th double vodka tonic in an hour, don’t try and pull the wool over our eyes and ask someone else. We know about you, the onboard manager will know about you and the Captain will know about you.
People in business and first class don’t realise they’re cracking off their warm smelling bed farts all the time when they’re trying to sleep and it’s disgusting. And yes we know when you’re getting handsy with eachother.
14. They are not allowed to donate blood or organs:
We cant donate blood or organs due to be an aircrew. Apparently blood cells grow abnormally due to different air pressure and is not safe for donation. I think this is not worldwide but in the EU, over several years flying, you are restricted to do so.
13. Don’t hit on them:
I’ve been hit on more times than I can count on flights. I am not arrogant by any means but guys will hit on you because of the fantasy. If you hit on an FA they will see you as “that guy” and will likely never call you. It’s like hitting on a bartender.
A lot of us wear fake wedding rings because of this. I’ve had guys try to see up my skirt (which wasn’t short), try to do a “low good bye wave” only to graze my boobs on the way out. It’s funny when guys hit on you early in the flight then realize I’m stuck with you for the duration of it.
12. There’s a reason it seems like they aren’t giving you a straight answer:
Speaking of using the bathroom…if the seatbelt sign is on and you need to go, the flight attendant cannot legally tell you “yes”, “no”, or a variant of “just be careful”. If the seatbelt sign is on, all we can say is, “The seatbelt sign is on.” It may seem confusing or unhelpful…but this is due to legal reasons at the end of the day.
11. Only use the barf bags to barf:
Please don’t use your barf bags for trash. I once had a mom hand me her barf bag that she had filled with her children’s snacks packaged. On the descent down one of her children got sick and she couldn’t find the bag in time and the kid puked all over her. Then her other child saw the puke and puked. It was almost karma. Also, please don’t stick gum in the emergency information packets. That’s just gross.
10. Don’t forget your medication:
People die on planes all the time. Often people wake up early, in a rush, forget important things like medication or assistance they may need or put it in their luggage which they then can’t access for hours. Lots of people forget to take these things into consideration, and when you’re travelling through the air on a metal tube, there’s only so much we can do until we find a place to land and then get you to a hospital.
9. Don’t be grumpy about being woken up:
I feel bad for waking people up to check seatbelts, but I have to. If I don’t check and we hit a big bump and you go flying, it’s on me. -there’s a reason for everything that we do or ask, jackets / blankets on laps during take off and landing are evacuation hazards. If you stand up that jacket is falling on the floor of your row, you’re now going to trip as you try to evacuate.
8. They stack cups:
Don’t stick your napkin inside your cup. We have limited trash room so we stack cups. When you do that I have to fish the napkin inside your cup and I die a little inside. I understand that you are trying to help and it’s nice but don’t.
