They say the eyes are the window into the soul. But I say that the hair is a window into how a person will treat their server at a restaurant. If Kate Gosselin’s “mom” haircut has taught me anything, it’s that the short blonde asymmetrical blowout is the universal sign for “I’m going to need to speak to your manager.”
Hair is a wonderful thing. It keeps our head warm, we can try out a plethora of styles and cuts and colors, and it serves as a jumping off point in how we judge other people. And sure, sure — never judge a book by its cover. But like, have you ever met a kid with a rattail that wasn’t a raging and out of control d*ck? Yeah, me neither.
Mullets, bobs, balding men with long stringy hair, artsy girls with baby bangs — it’s easy to lump people into personality categories because of their hair. Though the stereotypes aren’t always true, it sure is fun to wonder if that white guy with dreads is too stoned to realize how ridiculous he looks.