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27 NSFW Things Witnessed At Parties

10.

I’ve been to a couple of parties where a few people decided it would be a good idea to throw decorum to the wind and start f*cking in the back yard. Most of us gathered round to watch, but on one occasion, a few others joined in.

11.

Some dude passed out in the corner of this apartment party and there was a dude crouched over him trying his hardest to shit on his head. He couldn’t do it so nothing happened but I wondered if I should have told the passed out guy what he tried to do, but then again, if someone tried to shit on my head when I was passed out I wouldn’t want to know about it.

12.

At a party in a huge house on the lake that had a second living room upstairs, walking up the stairs I can hear all this commotion going on. As I enter the room there is this guy smashing a chick on the couch, doggy style, right there in front of everyone. He was getting high fives from other guys and people were just standing around watching and cheering. Well a few years later, I get married and at Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws when my brother in-law brings his new girl friend to meet the family. You guessed it, it was her, same girl that was getting smashed on the couch. Well he ended up getting married to this girl and now every time I see them at a family get together all I can see is the image from that night at the lake.

13.

Friend got drunk & was placed in the bath tub with the curtain drawn. Later this girl shows up & she has to go to the bathroom. I say sure, but not to lock the door so we can get in there if she passes out to make sure she doesn’t, you know, die. Of course, as soon as she goes in she locks the door. What we had forgotten was that our friend was asleep in the tub. He was awoken by, what he described as, “the worst smelling shit” he had ever smelled in his life. Not wanting to let this random girl know he was hiding in the bathtub, he did his best to keep quiet through the gagging. She had diarrhea so rank that she decided that she was too embarrassed to face the party. Her solution? Climb out the tiny bathroom window. When we got the door unlocked & went in we found her halfway out the window, her shit covered thong on the floor, & him pale & sweating in the tub.

14.

Partying in the barracks. My room had all the beer in the fridge. I was going down on this girl, when I felt a hand on my left shoulder. Briefly pause to look up, when my buddy says “You’re doing a great job. I just needed to grab a beer.” I went right back to what I was doing.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.