One night stands can go one of two ways. Either you wake up and realize you’ve made a grave mistake and try to get the f*ck out of there ASAP (call me a Lyft plz). OR you give yourself a congratulatory high five because DANG — they’re actually chill and hot and aren’t making things weird.
You know you’ve hit the one night stand jackpot when they bring you pizza in bed, give you one more orgasm, and then disappear into the hungover morning light. Who are these horny sex ninjas and where do I find one?
If only the latter were the norm. Unfortunately, life and your inevitable one night trysts don’t usually work out that way. Maybe the girl you picked up at the bar stole all of your money after giving you the best sex of your life. Maybe that foreign dude barfed all over your floor, bed, and dignity before asking you for a ride home. Or maybe, that one night stand keeps saying ILY as you try to usher them out the door. Yikes.