27 People Had to Explain Ridiculously Simple Things to Idiots

5.

There was this girl at my last job who was almost 30 with two kids and dumb as a rock. For starters, she thought Ecuador was a made up country. “No, Ecuador is a country on the equator” explained my boss. Girl refused to believe it. Another was when her AND another girl called myself and a friend idiots for saying we’re driving south to Florida (we live in New Jersey). They insisted it was north. But the most insane, ridiculous thing I had to explain, was when I had to explain what a poltergeist was. She thought it was a synonym for a hot flash. I’m not even sure how in f*ck’s name that connection was made.

6.

We’re outside at work sitting on the smoking bench on a cloudy overcast day no sun shining at all. He’s in his mid 20s and as far as I know is stone cold sober and he turns to me and says this. “Hey, do you think the sun is shining above those clouds or do they go all the way to the sun?”. I looked at him in disbelief trying to figure out if he was joking. He was dead serious.

7.

My wife has been a CPA for 20 years. She’s no dummy. However, we were once watching a documentary about climbing Everest and it mentioned that Everest is over 5mi tall. She said, “Wow, that’s over half way to the moon!” I stared at her in disbelief for a moment and then asked “you’re joking, right?” She wasn’t. Had to explain that the moon is almost a quarter million miles from Earth, just slightly more than what she thought.

8.

Just because the stove has a “self cleaning” option does not mean it can double as a dishwasher. Roommate ruined my shit.

9.

When my brother was like 14 and I was 16, and we were in the car with our dad, he asked our dad “have you ever had sex?” My dad just looked at me, in shock, and I said “well, our dad has us, so obviously he has had sex.” He was f*ckin f-o-u-r-t-e-e-n.

Written by Alex Cogen

Alex is a New Yorker currently living in Austin. She loves cats, grass, and latex but unfortunately is allergic to all 3. She makes mom and dad jokes more than she cares to admit (jk she'll admit it loud and proud). She isn't as funny as she thinks she is. She is the founder of thelazygurl.com.