Sex — it’s what makes the world go round. I mean, without it, we start dying as a population and personally, I just start getting really hot and bothered and mean and annoyed. Kind of like when I go too long without eating tacos.
People f*ck for a plethora of reasons, but it always seems like there are some universal signs that a person is going to be utterly terrible in bed. Case in point — if a dude always talks about himself and brags about his job, money, looks, and big d*ck — I KNOW I’m about to get railed with no care and attention to my vagine. Well, actually, I won’t get railed by him at all because he’s a f*cking twat and I don’t waste my time in the bedroom with spoiled twats.
Sometimes it’s not even about douchebags being douchebags. Sometimes people are just really bad at sex. If a person’s a terrible kisser, that probably means they haven’t had much experience, or it means they’re bad at picking up on social cues. If you’re a bad listener and communicator — you probably won’t be receptive to what my body’s aching for. Also, there’s a special place in hell for people who like to use a lot of teeth when they kiss.