When you first get into a new relationship, everything seems perfect. You’re giddy, obsessed with each other, and totally blind to each other’s flaws… because up until this point, you’ve each been hiding those flaws like they’re the freakin’ nuclear launch codes and it’s up to you to save the entire human race.
By that, of course, I mean that you’re lying your ass off. Not maliciously – but because you like them. You want to impress them. And how the hell are you supposed to do that if you’re 100% honest?
That thinking is where we all get into trouble.
It’s one thing for a guy to play it cool when a new girlfriend says she’s not hungry, then eats his whole plate of fries. Or for girls go to bed in full makeup the first night he sleeps over so they can wake up looking flawless – and more importantly, seeming low maintenance.
But all too often, the line between sort-of fibbing to make yourself look better, and outright deceiving someone to get into their pants gets a little blurred.
So it’s little wonder that at one point or another, we’ve all dated someone who seemed great – and later turned out to be awful.
Whether they cheated, ghosted, spread some nasty rumor, or just straight-up didn’t deserve you, getting sweet, sweet revenge can be oh-so tempting. And social media makes getting that revenge easier than ever.
Here are 9 hilarious, no-contact ways to publicly shame your ex – without compromising your own glowing reputation.
1. Change your status to ‘in a relationship… with pizza.’
True, they might be more jealous of you than they are of your new bae (after all, you’re the one who gets to nom on that melty, cheesy goodness) but at least they’ll be jealous. And nothing says “I don’t give a f*** who knows we broke up” like drawing attention to your new – and improved – relationship status.