Living with people can be a hit or miss. Sure, sometimes you can end up living with a stranger that turns into your BFF or moving in with your SO makes the relationship better. But despite all the good things that can come from having a roommate, there are a lot of sh*tty aspects as […] More
Opinions are like a**holes — everyone’s got one. And some people’s bumholes are a bit tidier and more well kept than others. Some people like to bleach the sh*tty residue away, while others like to stick ridiculously large dildos up there and poop out the annoying social taboos and societal shame. Some a**holes like to get […] More
When you were a young ridiculously stupid child, you probably thought that your parents (and all adults for that matter) knew absolutely everything. They basically told you that they did, after all. But as we got older, less ignorant, and more hung up about learning every single thing we could about everything on Wikipedia — we slowly […] More
Unfortunately we live in a world where we all have to be prepared for violence. Whether it’s terrorist/supremacist attacks or sexual assault, everyone should be aware of the risks that could occur on a daily basis. The best way to prepare? Learn self-defense. For some reason it’s not a requirement in schools, but it should […] More
Okay, real talk — usually it’s the sh*tty and deplorable landlords of the world that ruin our lives and blame us for our festering pest problem even though there’s a gaping hole in the side of my roof and they’re just trying to shift that blame onto someone other then their guilty AF selves. I’m not […] More
Ah, the miracle of life. It’s a wondrous occasion of love, babies, and trying not to tear your vagina all the way down the taint to your butt hole. Yes, giving birth is a magical thing. Labor is also probably one of the most difficult thing that happens on earth, but that sh*t can become […] More
Being socially awkward isn’t fun. It’s not like we (yes, I said we) wake up one day and are like “hey! It might good idea to make people around me uncomfortable?” It’s not a choice we make, it’s just an unfortunate part of our programming. But some parts that come along with being socially awkward […] More
Ahh, teenagers. Remember when you were one? I do. Being cool meant wearing horseback riding boots, listening to top 40, and wearing Tiffany’s jewelry. It was a different world, and one I don’t miss. But the one things about teens? They always seem to know what’s “cool”. Or, we just think it’s cool because we’re […] More
It’s not exactly breaking news that the entire world is going to sh*t. I mean, look where we’re at — a narcissistic and ill-informed man-child is running the country, we’re dealing with unprecedented natural disasters, and our social and political doom seems to be looming closer and closer with every new day. The bulk of us […] More
Coming clean to your parents is never easy. Well, unless you have an open and healthy relationship where you can talk freely about anything and everything with them. In that case — go f*ck yourself. For the rest of us with mommy and daddy issues, explaining to your parents that you are clean and sober might […] More
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I guess so. But have you ever gone almost a week without sh*tting and then basically stroked out when trying to pass the largest poo of your life on the toilet? It’s enough to make even the biggest atheists pray to god. Or at least the porcelain […] More
In our current world of environmental, social, and political doom, it’s not particularly difficult to find yourself hyperventilating while huffing into a brown paper bag. I mean, the insufferable orange ball of bigotry our president makes it easy AF to slip into anxious despair more than any other man in my life — and I’ve been […] More
