29.
The best part of using a Capri-Sun as a cocktail mixer is how it comes with that little stir straw.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 14, 2016
“Do you think I could have a hit of that juice box?”
“We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook!”
30.
I wish I could take a 12 minute power nap in the middle of the afternoon then effortlessly stay awake 6 hours past my bedtime like my kid.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 13, 2016
Please, Daddy just wants you to go the fuck to sleep.