As much as some people may think that great sex for dudes just means finding a warm orifice to stick their junk in — that’s definitely not the case. And if you ARE a guy who’s just looking for a warm orifice, then you can go f*ck yourself because you’re smarter than that and women are worth more than that. But I digress.
I’ve talked to plenty of guy friends about the best sex they’ve ever had, and you bet your ass it didn’t start out as — “And then she took off her clothes and didn’t make any noise for the entire duration of the act while she just laid there like a starfish. It was magical.” Ladies, I’m going to be real with you on this one. STOP WITH THE STARFISH SH*T. Sure, I get it — sometimes it’s just easier to lie back and let the dude do all the work, but then — why are you even having sex if you’re not rearing to go in the first place? You might as well call it and put your sweats on, grab the jumbo bag of spicy Cheetos, and settle in for a warm and cozy night of The Great British Baking Show.
In my experience, the best sex occurs when both parties are enthusiastic as f*ck and vocal about what they want in the sack. And according to dudes on the internet, I’m not far off. If you want some tricks of the trade from real life bros about what YOU can do to take coitus to the next level, LISTEN UP! Whether it’s initiating sex first, keeping it playful, or slobbing sloppily on their knob during a blow job — dudes are here to tell you what’s up! And sorry ladies, it doesn’t involve any sort of echinoderm charade.