Posted on: Nov 30 2017

Guys Reveal Their #1 Sex Tip For Girls To Be Awesome In Bed

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As much as some people may think that great sex for dudes just means finding a warm orifice to stick their junk in — that’s definitely not the case. And if you ARE a guy who’s just looking for a warm orifice, then you can go f*ck yourself because you’re smarter than that and women are worth more than that. But I digress.

I’ve talked to plenty of guy friends about the best sex they’ve ever had, and you bet your ass it didn’t start out as — “And then she took off her clothes and didn’t make any noise for the entire duration of the act while she just laid there like a starfish. It was magical.” Ladies, I’m going to be real with you on this one. STOP WITH THE STARFISH SH*T. Sure, I get it — sometimes it’s just easier to lie back and let the dude do all the work, but then — why are you even having sex if you’re not rearing to go in the first place? You might as well call it and put your sweats on, grab the jumbo bag of spicy Cheetos, and settle in for a warm and cozy night of The Great British Baking Show.

In my experience, the best sex occurs when both parties are enthusiastic as f*ck and vocal about what they want in the sack. And according to dudes on the internet, I’m not far off. If you want some tricks of the trade from real life bros about what YOU can do to take coitus to the next level, LISTEN UP! Whether it’s initiating sex first, keeping it playful, or slobbing sloppily on their knob during a blow job — dudes are here to tell you what’s up! And sorry ladies, it doesn’t involve any sort of echinoderm charade.

Ladies, if you really want to surprise men in bed with your erotic prowess, try these tips and you won’t be dissapointed:


1.

If something happens that could be gross or mortifying, just laugh. 99% of the time that’s all he wants to do anyway.

2.

When giving a handjob, remember, the penis is still an appendage of the human body. Gripping it like a lifeboat on the Titanic and yanking it like you’re auditioning for a Game of Thrones torture scene is not pleasant. Also, don’t take it personally when we try to delicately explain these types of things to you.

3.

If we do something you really like, you damn well better say “keep doing that” or something of that nature. It’ll only get better for the both of us.

4.

Initiate once I a while. Makes us feel like we’re wanted.

5.

Beg for your partner to cum inside you. He will fucking short circuit and blow up.

6.

If you’re tired of having sex just say “Don’t stop.”
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