It seems unfair that women are labeled as “whiny females” when they talk about the fact that men are dogs, because speaking from personal experience, a lot of men really are straight up dogs! (Cue the broflakes chanting “not all men!”) No, not all men. There are many good men out there, but unfortunately, a bunch of them are taken — a fact that poses a challenge to ladies who are unwillingly single.
So where do you find the good ones who aren’t taken? Certainly not at the club, or the skate shop. Probably not at your usual boozy Friday night haunts. Maybe at a party, if it’s an “adult” party — which means there’s a cheese board and shotgunning beers is frowned upon — but even then, most partygoers are all coupled up. The online dating thing is cool but cat-fishing is a very real thing, y’all! (Stay sexy don’t get murdered!) Here are some suggestions for where to meet men who aren’t pure garbage:
7. Downtown bars (during happy hour)
If you’ve been wondering where single dudes with “real jobs” are during the workweek, this is it! They’re chowing down on half-priced burgers and pints at their post-hard-day-on-the-job watering hole. It’s important to make sure said watering hole is either ~kinda fancy~ (I’m not advocating for seeking out dudes with money, but IT NEVER HURTS) or divey — but not so divey that you can hear men belch with reckless abandon from outside the bar. And make sure you sit at the bar.
Listen, I know. As somebody with zero desire to exercise or step too far outside my comfort zone, I feel the pain of DOING THINGS with COMPLETE STRANGERS. But it’s something I’ve forced myself to do over the past couple years and it’s paid off tenfold! I took a ceramics class and it was full of senior citizens but it could’ve had a cute guy in it! You really never know! I got a lopsided handmade mug out of it, and that’s what I mean when I say it paid off tenfold. Additionally, I got to meet Frank, who brought caramels to class and never remembered my name but always pretended to! That was nice.
5. Coffee Shops
I work from home, which means I need to leave the house at least two or three times a week, just to make sure I still know how to interact with people and have a reason for running a comb through my hair. During these rare outings to my local coffeeshop I always see hot young dudes clickety-clacking away on their MacBooks, working on their master’s thesis or film screenplays, I imagine. Coffee shops are literally always busy and have shareable tables. Plus, you get to meet a new guy sober for once! The novelty alone is worth it.
4. Chipotle at lunchtime
I don’t know what it is about Chipotle (it’s the chicken. Is it the chicken?), but young, attractive, single men flock to it like seagulls to a lone french fry. There is always a huge line out the door around lunchtime, and everyone knows there is no better place to spark up a conversation than in a line because there’s literally nothing else to do. Also, any guy in a lunch line at noon is an employed guy.
3. Newspaper/magazine stands or book shops
You can take all the time you need to browse without it being weird, which is more than you can say for any other retail or food establishment. An added bonus is that it isn’t difficult to discern what any potential cutie is interested in — just peep their book/magazine choice. Maybe you’ll have something in common, and there’s your in. Maybe you don’t, and you have to quickly whip out your phone and google finance or motorcycles or whatever. It’s fine to fake interest in something you have no knowledge of, but not, like, forever.
2. The dog park
The dog park is the ideal place to meet a dude because it’s so easy to initiate a conversation. Everyone loves talking about their dogs. Most people can’t shut up about ’em! If you don’t have a dog, you need to A) reevaluate your priorities and/or B) borrow a friend’s dog, STAT. That way you can sort of shove your dog towards your potential mate’s dog, and say something super chill along the lines of “aw, they really like each other!
Want to get married?We should set up a doggy playdate sometime!”
1. The public library
This is a chill spot because it relies heavily on your ability to “give eyes.” People hate on coquettishness as though it is some useless relic of a time when women were always in need of saving or whatever, but let me make one thing clear: a timely-placed lingering gaze, averted and paired with a faux-embarrassed smile almost immediately after being returned by some cutie with a book, can change the world. Or at least your plans for the evening, whatever. At the very least you know the dude is literate and maybe trying to better himself in some way.