humor

These 27 Drugged Out Patients Said The Most Ridiculous Things

12.

When I was doing my clinical rotations there was a lady who was in a room yelling about how she knows who she is. She stated her full name, age, height, weight, where she was and why. I thought she was completely lucid until she started shouting “I AINT NO PROSTITUTE BUT CAN I SELL THIS PUSSY!”

13.

There was a guy that seemed pretty lucid in the emergency room but then he said “CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS PREGNANT? ITS FREAKING ME OUT.”

14.

I recently had to have a tooth removed and while under laughing gas, after however long of them scraping against my teeth, I declared that I “knew how they came up with dubstep music!” The nurse pulled out of my mouth and asked what I had said. I responded with “you know dubstep moosic is right?” and she laughed and nodded. “Whoever made it must have made it after having a tooth pulled and hearing the wiki wiki bwaaaaa” She literally had to stop working because she laughed so hard.

15.

When I woke up from surgery, I was hitting on ALL the nurses. Young, old, man, woman, didn’t matter. Everyone got called beautiful that day.

16.

My boyfriend, as he was being wheeled into recovery, yelled to me “honey! You can call me Shrek from now on!” He has no idea why he wanted me to call him Shrek. I had to have surgery a few months later, and when I had woken up, I called my boyfriend on the hospital phone and told him he could call me Fiona from now on.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.