Posted on: Mar 04 2018

These Hipster Opinions Will Make You Want To Punch Someone In The Face

Writer


Image via Giphy

10 years ago, being a hipster meant rocking those oversized (and fake) black-rimmed glasses and sipping on the newest and boldest IPA while condescendingly explaining why Vonnegut was the most prolific novelist of our time and loving every f*cking minute of it. Why wouldn’t you? You felt better than everyone, your opinions and taste in music hadn’t yet broken into the “mainstream,” and American Apparel was still in its former, weirdly sexualized glory.

Over the last decade, though, the term “hipster” has devolved into a mishmash of douchey snowflakes, pretentious a**holes, and having high-brow opinions that make others roll their eyes into the back of their heads and out onto the street. I’m talking about the annoying opinions hipsters hold dear like — if a coffee shop doesn’t serve my soy mocha latte in a mason jar, it just isn’t going to be good enough!

I get that hipsters want to think they discovered a band or food trend before the masses got to it, thus making them superior, but like — why make people want to punch you in the face for shouting those opinions so loudly from the digital rooftops? The millennial hipster may be a dying breed, but thanks to the glorious World Wide Web, their pretension and gag-worthy thoughts on flannel and Conor Oberst can live on forever.

If you can make it through this list without rolling your eyes and wanting to punch someone in the face, CONGRATULATIONS — you’re not a hipster!


1.

I love mason jars and giant glasses.

2.

Shows that cost $8-$12 to get into are so much better than ones that are ten times as much for the cheap seats. You get to watch the band from ten feet away instead of from the second balcony. You have a much better chance of having a casual conversation with a musician after their set.

3.

I really like local or underappreciated bands. The band members are usually a lot more personable than the famous musicians. I love going to their concerts, because you can come away with it with autographs from the band, photos, cheaper merch and the memories, without having to buy a VIP pass.

4.

I think it’s ok to say you discovered something before it got popular.

5.

I wear flannel and a messenger bag. It’s functional when riding my bike to work. Can’t grow a beard though.

6.

I really like neutral milk hotel.
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