These Parents Found The Most Insane Things On Their Kid’s Social Media

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Social media is f*cking crazy, y’all. When Myspace and Facebook first hit the scene, kids flocked to the sites because we wanted to share our emo feely feels and stalk our crushes and post dumb photos of our pets. It all seemed innocent enough. Fast forward 15 years or so, and social media has taken over the world. It’s now how we get our news while having the ability to sway political elections, it gives us the (false) confidence to talk sh*t to strangers we’ve never met on the internet, and we’re still stalking our crushes and posting dumb photos of our pets. Some things never change.

The generation of emo Myspace kids grew up into social media addicted zombies with our heads forever in our iPhones  swiping, sliding into DMs, and double tapping like it’s going out of business. And it seems like the kids with Instagrams and Facebooks and Snapchats are getting younger by the minute. Maybe I think it’s crazy because I grew up in a time both with and without the internet, but kids these days are posting some pretty crazy sh*t for their parents (and all of the world) to see. And it turns out — they’re not very good at clearing their browsing history.

Maybe you found out that your 12 year old son has been posting ridiculous Instagram posts with captions like “F*ckbois gonna f*ck.” Or maybe you’ve come to realize just how weird and horny your preteens are. I mean, we all know kids going through puberty are horny little weasels, but when you hop on the family computer and see that they’ve been searching for lactation anime porn, it’s safe to say that social media and the internet have opened up a whole new foray into dirty, inquisitive, and horny search histories.

These kids got busted for looking at ridiculous and dirty things on the internet:


1.

On Halloween I saw a post on my 17 year old cousin’s snapchat that was a selfie captioned, (verbatim) “Any girls tryna come over here and suck on this spooky dick and get festive with some pumpkin spice lattes” I immediately face palmed then laughed my ass off for a solid 15 minutes.

2.

My friend told us about how he found his son’s search history: “girl penis,” “girl not have penis,” and “why girl not have penis?” He was 10.

3.

This was before my son was on social media; he was 7 or 8, and he asked if he could have some “alone time” in the office. I looked at his search history: “big boobs” (which turned up weird humongous photoshopped boobs) immediately followed by “little boobs” and then “hot grils” which turned up page after page of Weber grills. He’s 18 now and has no memory of this.

4.

Not technically a parent but an older sister, so my little brother when he was around 7ish had a search history of naked women and such. And when my mother found out and confronted him he cried and was saying he just wanted to be like Jack from the titanic by drawing naked women and he had a few pages of his attempted drawings.

5.

My parents saw my search history of “bloody gir” from Invader Zim. For whatever reason they saw “bloody girl” and grilled me about it (I was like 13?) And that’s when I learned how to delete my search history. That’s when the real fun began.

Written by Laura McNairy

Laura is a freelance writer for TFLN. She likes to write about what she knows best — dating, sex, and being awkward, but usually in the opposite order. She is the Assistant Editor and videographer for Peach Fuzz, a sex-positive nudie magazine in ATX.