Posted on: Aug 08 2018

10 Things You Should Never, Ever Put Inside Your Vagina

Over the years, there have been numerous reports on new and interesting ways for women to pleasure themselves, clean themselves, and cure themselves and their lady parts.
From finding interesting ways to get drunk to trying natural remedies to cure yeast infections, there have been dozens and dozens of articles on the web pushing women to shove stuff up their vagina that just does not belong there. In fact, there are a lot of things that should go nowhere near your vagina ladies–so listen up.

10. Fruit and vegetables.

Despite what you may see on some porn websites, using fruit shaped like a penis to pleasure yourself is definitely not a good idea. Even if your partner thinks it’d be super hot to do some mock banana split sex routine with bananas and all–deny, deny, deny. Fruits and veggies belong in your mouth, not in your crotch. Dr. Raquel Dardik, M.D., a gynecologist and Associate Professor of Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center told Self:

Vegetables have pesticides, so you’re putting pesticides in your vagina which I don’t really recommend, and you can have them break off and have little bits and pieces that stay there for rather unhealthy amounts of time which, again, I don’t recommend. But nothing takes root, it’ll just rot.

9. Douches.

Douches are one of those items marketed towards women as a great idea, but in reality, they’re awful for you. Marketing campaigns tell you that a clean vagina is a happy vagina and you should douche all day long–but, your vagina does not need to be cleaned out. Douching leads to an imbalance of bacteria inside of you–even good bacteria–and can throw your pH balance out of whack, too.

If you feel as though your vagina is developing an odor or an irritation, using a douche will not help. Consult with your OBGYN if you feel as though there may be something off, instead of making it way worse.

8. Alchohol Soaked Tampons.

Among the stupid teen trends that sweep the internet, alcohol soaked tampons appeared when teens were trying to get drunk without their parents finding out or smelling alcohol on their breath. However, putting alcohol–like vodka–inside of your body through a tampon is going to lead to irritation and infection. Dr. Toli Onon, spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) told Daily Star Online:

Alcohol is an antiseptic and disturbing the balance of ‘good’ bacteria inside the vagina in this way can increase the risk of infection, such as bacterial vaginosis or thrush. Alcohol can also be very irritant to the vaginal skin, and may cause stinging pain and inflammation.

Anyone who is worried about vaginal irritation or itching, should seek advice from their GP or pharmacist as they may have an infection that needs treatment.”

7. Yogurt Soaked Tampons.

Many home remedy websites will tell you that applying yogurt to your vagina when you have a yeast infection could treat it. As a quick way, some women will soak a tampon in yogurt and shove it on in. However, experts say this is a horrible idea. Dr. Alyssa Dweck, M.D., a gynecologist and Assistant Clinical Professor at Mount Sinai School of Medicine told Self: 

Sometimes when people have a yeast infection and they feel like [yogurt on a tampon] is a more natural way to treat it. Probably not a great idea. Bacteria and yeast love dark, moist places so I think that could be causing of infection.” If you suspect you have a yeast infection, get checked out by a doctor and if she gives her okay, treat it with Monistat, an easy over-the-counter treatment, instead of yogurt.

6. Wasp Nests.

Recently, women began using wasps and wasp nests for their vagina to clean and tighten them after “oak galls” went viral on Etsy. Apparently, putting these inside of your vagina were rumored to rejuvenate them. However, doctors say that using these are dangerous and can dry up the vagina. In fact, a try vagina can lead to “extreme chaffing during sex and make it easier to contract STI’s and other infections.”

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