Whenever you find yourself in a long-term relationship, you’ll browse through articles online that talk about dating, the future with your significant other and how often/how soon you should be doing things – like, introducing them to your parents or moving in.
You’ll find that your interest is hella peaked because, well, you want to know if you’re on the right track with your partner and if you’re not – well, we’re all self-sabotaging in our own way. When it comes to sex, there’s always a question that comes into many people’s heads – are we doing it enough?
You scroll through endless amounts of articles online, looking for answers and how to change everything to be “perfect,” or “normal.”
But – f*ck perfect.
F*ck normal.
According to sex therapist Tammy Nelson:
“Forget about ‘normal.’ ‘Normal’ is a setting on the washing machine, nothing more. What’s most important is that you learn to have empathy for your partner and accept whatever their needs might be, even if they are different than your own.”
When it comes to sex and your relationship – how much should be be having and how often should you be having it? Well, the answer is quite simple:
As much as you want and as often as you want.
There’s no such thing as the “right amount” or anything in a relationship because newsflash people – there’s no such thing as two relationships that are identical. While we, writers, sit here and pour out guts out to you through a small 12-inch Mac screen, we know deep down inside that our relationships with our men/women are completely different than yours, the readers’.
Let me give you some solid, solid advice:
If you’re completely happy in your relationship and happy with where you are at with your partner, you shouldn’t look for something to make that happiness turn into chaos. You shouldn’t be wondering what everyone else is doing and if everyone else is happy. You shouldn’t be scrolling for hours looking for ways to “fix” something that is not broken.
And, if you ever find that you are not happy in your relationship and you are not happy with where you are at with your partner – listening to everyone else who is not involved in your relationship will not help you. You can only answer what will make you happy – and, if your partner is not the one, stop hiding from the truth and own it.
If you’re not sexually satisfied in your relationship, you have to know that there will be people out there who can give you what you need – and, it may be time to move on. If you are, stop worrying what everyone else is doing and go get yourself some lovin’.