Who knew that probably the best recreational activity known to man could generate THE most unpleasant and cringe-worthy experiences. I’m sure you’ve had some of your own so I scored through the interwebs to bring you only the best of the best. Let’s all feel better together.
I was having sex with my boyfriend who is a VERY loud moaner. He kept saying my name over and over again then all of a sudden his mom comes in and says “yes hun…oh God sorry”…that’s how I found out I have the same name as my boyfriend’s mom.
I hooked up with the guy I’ve been seeing. Apparently, he doesn’t believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn’t realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said “I love you. I want you to have my child.” It had been our second date.
While licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn’t have referred to her breasts as pancakes.