Costco Is Selling A Freakin’ Ginormous Wine Glass For, Uh, Decoration

Pause your workflow. Costco—everyone’s favorite snack-sample outlet disguised as a bulk shopping warehouse—is selling a four-foot-tall wineglass.

The packaging insists the glass is decorative, though this is clearly a clever ploy to avoid public outcry concerning issues of alcohol abuse/poisoning/potential death. Nobody in their right mind would purchase a small-human-sized wine glass and convert it into a terrarium—particularly if said wineglass carries a price tag of $79.99.

Besides faux plants, the box suggests using the glass as a vessel for wine corks or Christmas ornaments.

But clearly, no. The only option is to use the wine glass for its intended boozy purpose, à la Amy Schumer’s Football Town Nights skit:

You may need help drinking out of it, but that, on top of the actual price tag, is the price you pay for living like a god(dess).

The “decorative” wine glass is available for purchase on Costco’s site for $99.99 (this includes $20 in shipping costs.) If you’re intimated by its size and price point, however, we suggest starting with something more reasonable. Like this extra-large glass from Amazon, a “gag gift” (wink wink) that holds an entire (regular-sized) bottle of wine and costs a mere $11.99.