27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

Kids — you pop those suckers out, love the sh*t out of em, nurture them, and care for those small “drunk people” for the next 18 years and beyond. And honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Of course, as a parent, you sometimes need to shield your kids from the dark, dirty little secrets you may harbor for fear of hurting them.

Maybe you were a drug addict before they were born. Or maybe, you met their mother on a kink website and hope your kids never find “the drawer.” You know the one. Some secrets are harmless, even hilarious, but you still might be embarrassed if your kin find out about your penis enlargement surgery. #whoops

And what if your secret is the fact that you don’t actually like being a parent? What if your secret could potentially ruin your relationship with your child? For these moms and dads, they think it’s best to keep those secrets buried for the rest of their lives. Let’s just hope their kids don’t have a penchant for solving mysteries.


These 27 parents hope their kids never find out about their juicy little secrets: