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17 Reasons You Should Never, Ever Text Your Ex

11. Because they can’t even commit for three damn hours:

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12. Because of course you can’t be friends:

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13. Because they are still Satan:

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14. Because he’s still too small. And too rude:

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15. Because they can’t even spell the word ‘regret’:

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16. Because anyone who even needs to ask is not worth talking to (huge range):

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17. Because when it comes right down to it, a vibrator is so much better in every way:

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