14.
Ladies. Listen. This is wisdom. This is my code. If you are interested in a man, first ask yourself: can he contribute anything that my dog, some dessert & my vibrator can’t? If not? If he doesn’t bring something else of value….move along baby. NEXT.
— Morgan Taylor Miller (@MorganT_ThatsMe) June 26, 2018
13.
When I put new batteries in my vibrator pic.twitter.com/jV8dgcFHAt
— TextsFromLastNight (@TFLN) July 17, 2018
12.
My vibrator is a rescue
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 2, 2017
11.
me stealing batteries from work to put in my vibrator: This Is What A Femnist Looks Like 🙂
— Tig Notaro (@TigNotaro) June 13, 2018
10.
Relationship status:
My vibrator just told me it has a headache.
— ?GHD? (@GingerHotDish) August 21, 2018
9.
I bought batteries for my toothbrush but put them in my vibrator instead because priorities.
— Samantha Haack (@SamanthaRae49) August 4, 2016
8.
*buys my vibrator a promise ring
— Bat Shit Crazy (@BatBatshitcrazy) July 22, 2018
7.
Stages of realizing my vibrator is photo bombing me pic.twitter.com/0VrQlb5GG9
— Casha (@Nuedvixx) June 17, 2018
6.
My friend just told me she named her vibrator Sebastian because “darling it’s better, down where it’s wetter.” I. Fucking. Can’t.
— Arielle Scarcella (@ArielleScarcell) May 11, 2018
5.
Relationship Status: I'm taking my vibrator's last name.
— Mmmary ⚡️ (@nameterminated) July 2, 2018
4.
*charging several hundred dollars of vibrators to my health care spending account*
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) June 5, 2018
3.
Shower sex.
Only it's me and my vibrator getting it on.
— *Lady V* (@tanbotha24) November 11, 2017
2.
Me during sex: Hurt me.
Her: *bites my nipple*
Me: No like… have you seen the internet meme? Where you say something about smash bros melee not being balanced for competitive play or something
Her: Pull out and get me my vibrator
Me: Ah see that woulda been a good one— Lyle Rath (@LyleRath) August 20, 2018
1.
My clit when it sees me reaching for my vibrator for the 5th time today pic.twitter.com/4VIQncSDyW
— ?Queen of the Fall ? (@radandbougie) July 17, 2018