F**kboys come in all shapes and sizes, spitting all kinds of game, but the one distinguishing trait that they all have in common? Terrible texting etiquette.
If you’re currently engaged in a frustrating textual relationship with a f**kboy, then here are some helpful rules to ensure that 1.) he doesn’t get under your skin too much and 2.) you don’t allow him to walk all over you:
8. There’s pretty much no need to respond to a “K.”
Seriously, f**k whoever started this trend. I realize that’s hypocritical since I myself have certainly sent my fair share of “K”s, but do as I say, not as I do, okay??
The “K” is basically a conversational brick wall. The “K” means that you’re so uninterested in wrapping up this text exchange that you can’t even be bothered to add ONE MORE LETTER. The “K” isn’t even passive-aggressive, it’s just full-on passive. Honestly, if he’s not willing to type out a full “ok,” do not stress yourself by trying to engage him in further conversation. He can put in a BIT more effort.
7. Or, for that matter, a “Hey.”
I know how it goes: you see that casual, solitary “Hey” message and your generous brain thinks, “Oh! He’s thinking about me and wants to start a conversation!” But, before you respond, pump the breaks and see if he’s actually willing to add anything else to that “hey.”
A “Hey. How was work?” is very different from a standalone “Hey.” The single “Hey” means that he’s just prodding you to see if you’re still interested enough to respond. He’s checking up on you to make sure you’re around to fall back on, but he isn’t willing to offer up any actual plans or commitments — or even conversation.
A “Hey” demands attention but rarely returns the favor.
6. Go right ahead and keep sleeping when he texts “WYD?” at 1:00 AM.
I mean, if you’re fully aware that this is a hookup-only situation, then by all means: tell him to come over. If, however, part of you is hoping that he likes you enough for this relationship to progress to something more, then you should probably make it clear that you’re not just waiting around for his booty calls.
Proving that you’re not at his beck and call will not only pique his interest, it will make him respect you more — which, regardless of the nature of your relationship, can only work in your favor.
5. Don’t send him multiple texts in a row if you aren’t getting a response.
YOU. ARE. BETTER. THAN. THAT.
When it comes to vaguely romantic relationships, we prefer to believe that the other person, despite their inexplicable inability to communicate, is hopelessly head-over-heels for us — even though the rational part of our brain knows that, if somebody is really head-over-heels for you, they’re not ignoring your texts.
And believe me: if days go by without a response, that is more or less what he’s doing. Nobody in the history of the universe has ever “not seen” a sent text message. (That’s hyperbolic, but you get the idea.) So, anytime a guy serves up this excuse, you can rest assured that he’s most likely full of sh*t.
If he ignores your messages, it’s because you aren’t high on his list of priorities — and that’s not something you need to tolerate.
4. If you try to make plans and he flakes, the ball is now in his court.
Don’t continue trying to engage him if he’s been lukewarm on your most recent offers. He knows you want to hang out — and if he wants to hang out with you, he’ll do something about it. End of story.
In the meantime, focus on making fun plans with other people. Who knows? During your outings, you might meet someone you like even more who can actually commit to planning a damn date.
3. Text him before you start drinking — not after.
If you are making plans for late in the evening, then do it before you’ve been needled into ordering that second glass of wine. Otherwise, you are very likely going to send him an embarrassing text and/or booty call which you will end up regretting.
There’s no shame in asking your friend to hold your phone captive for the evening. It’s very rare for an intelligent and thoughtful message to be sent after 11 PM.
2. If he stands you up with zero explanation, delete his number.
If you have a softer heart than I, sure — give him a chance to explain himself. But I’m here to tell you that nobody who’s worth your time straight-up stands you up without calling and letting you know that there’s an emergency. And if you allow this kind of sh*tty behavior to continue, it definitely will.
Give f**kboys an inch and they’ll take a mile, y’all.
1: Remember: if a guy is only doing the bare minimum, you can do better.
This sounds cliché, but when somebody genuinely likes you, it isn’t that complicated. The “drama” only comes when the other person is torn between liking you and liking somebody else, when they don’t really like you but they like having sex with you, or when they’re using you as a placeholder until somebody “better” comes along. If they actually feel a connection and want to pursue it, though, it’s (usually) refreshingly straightforward.
And they’re out there! I promise! They may not be on Tinder, (in fact, I can assure you that many of the best ones definitely aren’t), but they DO exist.
So, if you’re daydreaming about what if would be like if your current ambiguous guy-friend would actually be up-front and communicative, then snap out of it — you’re wasting time on someone who will never give you what you want when there’s another guy somewhere out there who will.